Monday, September 21, 2009

bye

i'm closing this done because no one reads it. i'm starting a new blog. spreadin' the word early. check out my profile to know what it is
bye,
TOXIC

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

lucky charms

In school ,in these United States of America, all anyone can talk about is how "lucky" we are. How much we "have". How we're "ungrateful" and "take everything for granted". This really bothers me, because these teachers have all the same privileges, and the same rights, and probably take the same stuff for granted!!
Plus, they're only talking about "privileged" in the materialistic sense. You could have the most messed-up family and the most messed-up life and the most messed-up friends, but as long as we have a house and material things, we're considered really lucky on the outside. (sidebar-just now, a family member of mine came in, read this, and went on, and on, about how we ARE lucky, thus completely violating blogging code).
Just recently, I struggled with something major and very very very bad, and i really wasn't feeling so lucky. No one really does, sometimes. But we have to keep in stride, keep our chins up, and remember just how "lucky we are"? Hello!!! Not fair!!!
pissed,
TOXIC

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

i.ds, please?

Identification annoys me. It annoys me because who really knows who they are anymore? I mean, in a way that would fit on a page. Confused? That's just it! Everybody gets confused about themselves and what "category" they fit in, or "clique", or "group" or whatever.
Now, let's talk about maturity. Virtual show of hands, who here has met someone (or who IS someone) who thinks maturity is drinking coffee like a manic (UG!), watching R-rated movies (DOUBLE UG!), and slathering on tons of makeup (TRIPLE UG!)? Does anyone besides me think that's irritating?! That's not maturity!! That's just a list if THINGS!!!
Maturity to me is being able to move on, not getting stuck on one bad thing, not holding grudges over the little things. It's being trusted with something and with staining that trust. What's it to you? PLEASE COMMENT!!!
My stand, my life, my messed-up head,
TOXIC

Saturday, August 22, 2009

once again

Please comment! It's the only way I know that people are reading this!!
TOXIC

Sunday, July 26, 2009

into it

What is popular now? I mean, what does everybody love the most, what's the latest trend, what is the most popular thing? Somebody please tell me because I.Have.No.Clue! There is got to be something out there that will define this decade!
Unless popularity is finally overrated. Unless people are finally having their own styles, and not just going with what everybody else thinks, does says. Normality could be out, individuals could be in. That could be the Popular Thing.
What do you say? What is the thing that defines the New Millennium Decade, or whatever? I mean, almost every decade in the 1900s had it. Seriously, I'm confused
What do you think??
TOXIC

Monday, June 29, 2009

intro to the extro

I am OBSESSED!!! With two words. Introvert and extrovert. I think about them all the time, everywhere, every time I see people, i think about those words.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! I know you're thinking that right now, so let me go backwards. For those of you in the audience with no clue what I'm talking about, let me tell you: an introvert is someone who is reserved, shy, quiet. Doesn't like social scenes that much, the one in background, etc, etc. An extrovert is the complete opposite. Outgoing, loud, talkative. Practically LIVES for social scenes, the one in front, etc, etc.
So anyway, I am obsessed with those too words because I myself am an introvert. And I sometimes feel in the shadow of the extroverts. The me part out the window I have a little advice for you other introverts who have no idea what to do with yourselves. For one, STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES! No doormats, it sucks to be one. For two, if you really need to say something SAY IT! Alot of times, people skip over quiet people, expecting them not to say something. Well, I for one think it would be cool to surprise them with something to say.
This is my stand,
TOXIC

Thursday, June 18, 2009

cliques up

There's this girl I know. She has a lot of friends, and I bet she can be a good friend to each of them individually, but when most of them are in the same vicinity, she's a wreck. This girl just runs around, hanging out and having a great time with her current, popular, sorry to say it, but a little shallow friends. That would be ok, if she didn't ignore her other friends. You know what? I'm one of those ignored friends. It SUCKS!
Some things I've noticed about cliquey people:they have a lot of cliques. And they act differently with each clique. It amazes me how people (including me) can just change personalities depending on who their with, or where they are. Why do we have to change so much?
What else have I noticed? The people's ability to just drop their main interests out the window to adjust to someone else's. If you know what you stand for, and what you like and don't like, is there any reason to change it to fit someone else?
Cliquey girl knows who she is (if you have to ask, it's probably not you). If you're reading this post, C.G, DON'T APOLOGIZE! It did nothing before, and it will do nothing now.
It's just crap,
TOXIC

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

song bites

So, alot of times, when I internet chat with friends, I make up songs and post them when there are lulls in the chatversation. I thought it would be cool to share some. But, you tell me. Ok, this is how it goes:

I wanna be
out there
dancin' in the rain
cuz it feels good

I wanna be
out there
singin' in the crowd
cuz nobody cares
and it feels good
I wanna RUN

And another:
Hey now
sit and listen
look back on the things you've done
Ok, add that to "ice blue eyes" and you can pretty much see that I practically have song lyrics coursing through my veins . I also want to share on that I first started a year ago, and I've embellished it. Here it goes:

Take it easy
treat me dearly
like your very own
Hold me closer
hold me tighter
take me as I am
Here and gone, a fleeting moment in time
waiting to speak, until I catch your eye

Don't discriminate
stand back and don't hate
don't change me, don't change me
Don't fuss over me
back away and set me free
yeah, don't change me
don't stay away, though
Pull me in closer
pull me in deeper
don't spit me back out
I'll go in longer
go in stronger
to get closer to you
Blending in, by standing out from the crowd
Does anyone just want to be themselves

Don't discriminate
stand back and don't hate
don't change me, don't change me
Don't fuss over me
back away and set me free
yeah, don't change me
don't stay away, though

Don't discriminate
stand back and don't hate
don't change me, don't change me
Don't fuss over me
back away and set me free
yeah, don't change me
don't stay away, though
Don't stay away

I'm your lyrics girl
TOXIC

short note

Attention, all you freaks and weirdas!! I just wanted to say to my scores and scores of readers (HA!), PLEASE COMMENT ON MY POSTS!! It's the only way i can tell if people are reading this.
That is all,
TOXIC

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

countries of choice

Ok, what do you think of when you think about Japan? Is it the history and culture, the great technology, and entertainment? Or is it the bombing at Pearl Harbor, and the atomic bombings in Japan?Bombings, bombings, bombings! Wars, wars, wars! can we please talk about some thing else in History class?!
I also totally found it both hilarz and childish when, in fourth grade(worst year ev, but that's a story for another post), people in my class hated British people. You know, because of the whole revolutionary war thing. Soooooooooooo stuck in the past. I truly hope those kids grew up(they know who they are).
As another example, the whole Australia thing. Alot of people automatically think of the outback when they think of Australia. Even though it has lots of ultramodern things in it!
Hey!, let us not forget Paris! If I hear the "Paris is for lovers" cliche one more time, I will vomit all over the place. Ugh! I'm gagging right now just typing about it.
Anyway, my point is, if you are on board with the country stereotypes, do some research!!
I'm the girl with the paper and the plan
This is my stand
TOXIC

Friday, May 22, 2009

ice blue eyes

(This is a song i wrote.)
I don't have anything
to say to you
And yet I want to say everything
but I cant
Find myself
to say a word
Do you know how frustrating
that is?
Sometimes I wonder why......
Why
Did I.....
Fall for the guy who is never alone
you're always surrounded by people
Fall for the guy with a bunch of girls
always around
I wonder if he realizes
that I know I'll never measure up
Why
did I fall
for the guy
with the ice blue eyes?!
ICE BLUE EYES

I always want
to be around you
And yet
I never am
Close enough to reach out
to you
Fearing rejection


Sometimes I wonder why......
Why
Did I.....
Fall for the guy who is never alone
you're always surrounded by people
Fall for the guy with a bunch of girls
always around
I wonder if he realizes
that I know I'll never measure up
Why
did I fall
for the guy
with the ice blue eyes?!
ICE BLUE EYES

Where do you go
when you are alone
I want to see there
and tell you
anything
everything
Where are you
when you want someone else around
I want to see you there
see you there
see you there
see you there



Sometimes I wonder why......
Why
Did I.....
Fall for the guy who is never alone
you're always surrounded by people
Fall for the guy with a bunch of girls
always around
I wonder if he realizes
that I know I'll never measure up
Why
did I fall
for the guy
with the ice blue eyes?!
ICE BLUE EYES
BLUE EYES

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

names on the ground

Why is it that when people (mostly girls) are with their friends, they talk about their other friends alot? It's, like, name dropping, except your not using celebrities. I find this strange. It's competitive, naming all of your friends, seeing who has the most. Not everything in life is a competition. Don't you realize that?
Weirder, still, even though I'm tired of listening to this name dropper crap, I find myself actually doing it when I'm with my friends. It's almost a big race to see who's life is better, and, without knowing it, I've started running to catch up with the other competitors. It's worse with friends you don't see every day. You hang out, get to talking, and suddenly, they mention their friends at school or something, and describe the clique that their in, and all the clique members. Then you launch off into this monologue about all your school friends, and the cliques, and so on.
What I've realized is that when you drop names, they just end up on the ground, you are discarding people when you name-drop, dismissing them as another collectible friend. And it's nothing but crap.
Consider yourself warned,
TOXIC

Monday, May 11, 2009

this is a love song, this is a breakup song....

Ah, dating. Getting together with someone and making out and going places together. Being a "couple". Sound familiar? i hear it every day in the halls at my school, and with friends, and on T.V, and the internet, and books, and just about everywhere else. And to that I say "UGG! I get it! Dating, is great, dating is fun, dating is for EVERYONE!! NOT!" Do you know how many kids/teens/young adults/adults get soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wrapped up in the dating thing that they become wierdas?! Alot!
And the imfamous breakups. The crying, the "Please don't leave me"s, the "I can change"s the "It's better this way"s . It doesn't have to be this this dramatic, people!!!!! I know it's hard, and it can crush you, but really, to quote another breakup line, "It doesn't have to be this way"!
Yeah, I'm all for finding the right someone and getting together, but it doesn't have to be crazy competitive compulsive, or make you leave people behind or completely stressful. It can be fun. All I'm saying.
This is my stand,
TOXIC

Saturday, May 2, 2009

lables, tags, or identities?

Singer
Dancer
Rich
Poor
Fun
Boring
Imaginative
Plain
Smart
Dumb
Blonde
Brunette
Young
Old
"Is this who I am?" some people ask "Does this really define me?" Well, I say, the answer is yes and the answer is no. It is who you are, but it does not define you. If your name was a dictionary definition, would it look like this?:
[Insert name](noun)-A smart brunette who wears jeans and T-shirts
I say NOT! Those sound like half- labels to me. Now lets try some controversial ones:
Gay
Straight
Black
White
Biracial
Racist
Sexist
Autistic
Now, don't some of those sound like accusations to you? How many times have you heard someone say "You're gay!" in a mocking tone? As for the race ones: where I go to school, the word" racist" is thrown around like a cheap dart. Being African American(or Black, or Negro, whichever you prefer) I don't hear it in reference to me, but I have heard it once because of me.
Ok, please please PLEASE don't confuse my message with political correctness. That is just stepping on MAJOR eggshells to please everyone. Not gonna work, someone will always be offended.
This is my stand
TOXIC